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Marital Moments

I thought I was finished with the "Potholes On The Marital Highway" series but I  believe  there are more  potholes we need to consider.  In  this Marital Moment I want to focus on a very serious problem that is destructive beyond measure.  I  call this pothole  The  Sad  Intrusion.  In Genesis 29:24-30 we find that the hopes and dreams  of Rachel and Jacob  were shattered on the  wedding day.  The joyous oc-casion was turned to deep bitterness when  Leah,  Rachel's sister,  entered  into the picture.  Rachel  and  Jacob  had each  other but someone  else was also  involved. Thus the sad intrusion.  The  "other" woman.  But  the plot gets worse  when both Rachel  and  Leah's  handmaidens  also enter into  the  relationship.  ( It  should be noted that God never approved of multiple marriages and  that they always created great  difficulty  for those  who  engaged in  that  kind of  behavior.)  Jacob's home became  a  circus of  competing personalities.  The  cleave-only-to-each-other  part came tumbling  down.  The heartbreak  unbearable.  The  pain and  suffering. The unanswered  questions.  The  blame game.  The cover  ups.  The  unaccounted for hours and time away.  Nothing wrecks havoc on the  marriage more than an affair. Sadly, today's society does little  to condemn  and  much  to condone  this  type of behavior.  The broken dreams,  hearts,  and  homes of those  who engage  in  such things become exceedingly painful and difficult.  The  tears shed,  the lives shatter-ed, and  the hopes  destroyed are  beyond compare.  An affair is a sin  so  grievous that it is the only one God allows for divorce.  (Matthew 5:32)    It  doesn't have to result in divorce but God gives an  option for divorce because of this unfaithful act. Now,  for some  advice  for  those  who face  the  awesome sadness  of  an  affair. Advice For  The Unfaithful Partner:  (1)  Stop  It  Immediately.  If  your  affair  is known  or  unknown you must  stop it immediately.   Isaiah 55: 7 states,  "Let  the wicked  forsake  his way,  and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the  Lord,  and  he  will  have  mercy  upon him;  and to our God,  for he will abundantly pardon".  (2) Take Full  Responsibility.  Don't rationalize the affair. Do not  blame your  partner. Don't  trivialize it.   You  are the  guilty  one.  It  is  your fault.  To blame others is to shift the  responsibility from yourself.  God holds  you accountable for your  actions.   (3)  Seek  Forgiveness  For  Your  Behavior  From Both  God  And  Your  Spouse.   Be genuinely sorry  for your sin.  Not  sorry that you got caught up with.  (4)  Be Willing To Pay The Price.   The cost of  an  affair is  never cheap.  You  must answer all the questions that will be asked.  You  must be consistently faithful.  You  need to  be  on time  all  the time.  You  must  avoid anything  and everything  that  would lead  your wife / husband to doubt  your sin-cerity.  (5)  Become The Best Husband / Wife  Possible.  Heal the hurts by sincere words and deeds.  Kindness and compassion go a long way in smoothing the rough places you  have created. (6)  Determine  Never To  Fail  Again.  Purpose  in your heart that you will be faithful to your marriage vows.  In the next  Marital Moment I  will offer  some advice for the  wronged  partner.

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