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Marital Moments

I  have been focused  on the  topic of  Potholes On The Marital Highway  and  I want  to continue that  thought with this Marital Moment.  I am using  the marriage of  Rachel  and  Jacob  as  the  Biblical  bases for  this  study.  In  the  last  Marital Moment  I  dealt  with  the  Poor  Communications of  these two  individuals  by giving you the Reason For Poor Communications.  Today,  I  want  to continue, and conclude this topic, by looking at the  Results Of Poor Communications and The Remedy For Poor Communications.  In  Genesis 30:1-2,  Jacob and Rachel are  in somewhat  of an  argument over  Rachel's  inability  to  bear  children.  This discussion  seems to  go from bad to worse.  It  provides  excellent insight into how poor communication can result in negative things. The Results of Poor Commun-ication is readily seen in the (1) Constant Nagging of Rachel.  I do not believer this is the only time she and Jacob had this conversation.  The  lack  of children was an extremely sore spot for Rachel and  perhaps it occupied a large portion of her time. The thought of her sister,  Leah,  having  children was  more  than she  could bear. Sadly, her  poor  husband  received  the  brunt  end  of  her  assault.  (2)  A  Quick Temper.  A  casual reading  of this passage would  readily  identify the anger in her voice.  It  is  extremely  difficult  to  communicate  when one  partner is  upset and angry.  Anger seldom accomplishes nothing more than more anger. (3) A Demand-ing  Attitude.  Rachel demanded that Jacob do something  about the situation.  Un-fortunately,  Jacob  could not  remedy the problem.  A man usually pushes back or shuts  down whenever  someone demands  something of him.  He  becomes  more determined  to resist whatever is being  demanded of him and whoever is doing the demanding.  (4) Bitter  Remarks.  Both their  words were like  knives plunging into the heart.  When that  happened neither of  them was really communicating.  They were  only  venting  their  frustrations  toward  each  other.   (5)  Bad  Choices.  In Genesis 30:3-4, Rachel  makes  a  terrible  choice.  She determined to give her ser-vant  to  Jacob as a wife in hope of  having children of her.  Sadly,  Jacob  was not making any better choices than Rachel was.  The poor decision was made in anger, malice,  haste,  and  frustration.   The  Remedy For  Poor Communication is ex-tremely simple.  (1) You  must have  unconditional  love for  each other.  Proverbs 10:12  states, "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins".   Love  reaches out with concern and compassion. (2) A Sympathetic Attitude.  Jacob should  have reached out to her and talked with her about the problem.  She was hurting. A little sympathy  would have gone a long  way toward healing  her broken heart.  Instead he  allowed  it to  fester and  become  a major  obstacle  in their home.  (3) A Kind Response.  Proverbs  15:1 states  that, "A  soft  answer  turneth  away  wrath:  but grievous words stir up anger.  Jacob's  response to  Rachel was the truth but it was neither spoken in love nor kindness. Tenderness and kindness would have smooth-ed the rough places of their home.  (4) A Forgiving Heart.  Forgiveness is the salve that  heals  the  wounds  caused  by  verbal  attacks.    Poor  Communications  can certainly  make  for  a  rough  and rocky road but  good communications  can  turn difficult places  into calm  and  quite  surroundings.

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