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Marital Moments

We  will continue  our  thoughts  on the  Potholes  On The  Marital Highway by looking  at  the  major  pothole  of  Poor Communications.  Like  many  married couples Rachel and Jacob struggled with communication.  Genesis 30:1-2  gives us insight into their communication habits. There the Bible states, "And  when Rachel saw that  she bare Jacob no children...(she) said  unto Jacob, Give  me children, or else I die".   And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel:  and  he said,  "Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?"  They had  been married  for a  while and the honeymoon was past  and over.  They were  now ac-customed to each other. They knew the temperaments, habits (good and bad), and the  actions  of their partners.   By  now the  routine of  daily living with all its pro-blems and pain had  become familiar.  The things  that were once  overlooked  and forgotten about are now closely scrutinized by each other.  The harsh  words begin to fly. The verbal knives plunge deep within the heart and wound to the soul. What was  once  a  harmonious  relationship  with  abounding  love  has now  become  a difficult  situation with little hope  of recovery. Notice  Rachel's  Reason For  Poor Communications: (1) She lived a disappointed life.  Things  had not turned out  like she planned.  In a  society that valued  childbearing she was a nobody.  She angrily lashes out to her husband. Perhaps she felt like she had nothing worth while to  say or that her opinions were of no value.  (2)She condemned rather than communicat-ed.  Her words  were sharp  and biting.  She pressed her  case with great zeal. The words only  drove a wedge deeper between them. She  blamed her husband  for all her problems.  (3) She was self-centered.  It was all about her. All  about "me" and not about "us".  Even  a casual  reading of  Gen. 30:1-2 would  see that Jacob  was hurting  as well. (4) She  had unrealistic  expectations.  Jacob  could not solve  that problem.  She expected  miracles out  of the communication. She  was never satis-fied.  Nothing could please her. Neither  her beauty,  her status  as a favorite  wife, nor her income could  please her. Sadly  to  many people are  like that today.  The  unrealistic  expectations of the  husband or wife  simply cannot be fulfilled  to their satisfaction.  Therefore,  communication  suffers  and  they  are  left  disappointed, disillusioned, and dissatisfied.  Notice  Jacob's Reasons For Poor Communications: (1) He doesn't enjoy communication.  Perhaps  he is the silent type. But like  most men he doesn't enjoy long, engaging conversation. (2) He is the problem solver.  A man  solves  problems.  A  problem he  cannot solve is a  problem he seldom  talks about.  As much as he loved  Rachel he could not solve this dilemma. (3) He keeps a busy  schedule. Jacob  had  plenty of work  to be done. He was exhausted after a long  day at work. (4) His  attention was divided  among several things.  Jacob had two wives.  This was  never God's ideal or plan. As with anything that goes against God's will, this multiple marriage  provided multiple  problems. Jacob  was torn be- tween competing situations and this  greatly hindered and destroyed his meaningful communications.  I  will continue next time with the  Results  of Poor Communica-tion.  Remember, Potholes On The Marital Highway  consist of many things but especially  Poor  Communications.

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