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Marital Moments

As  we  look at  "Becoming One"  we  must realize that  oneness  does not  come easily nor cheaply.  It takes  total dedication by  husband and  wife to  achieve this goal.  Therefore, there must be a  strong commitment to The Developing Of One-ness. Genesis 2:24 states that, "A man  shall leave  his father and  his  mother, and shall cleave  unto his  wife: and  they  shall be one flesh".  How do  two distinct in-dividuals  merge  into this  "one flesh" state  that  God speaks  about in  His  word? How  do they  become one?  (1) By Disconnecting  From Things  That  Hinder Oneness.  The Bible states that a man shall  "leave"  some very important things in order to become one with his wife. In Genesis 2:24 the man is to leave his parents. Both  husband and wife  are to server  that emotional  bond with  their parents. Of course you still love them, honor them,  and  respect them  but  all  your  attention must  be  turned  toward  your mate.  Parents should  not  have  control  over  the marriage. It  is a relationship  destroyer. Whenever your parents interfere with your marriage your  partner must compete  with them for your attention. The very  best thing  you  can do  is  to leave father and  mother and  transfer  all  your  love  and attention to your husband or wife. Not  only must you disconnect from parents but also from  things. Hobbies, sports, and other people can also  hinder the process of becoming one. These  must be recognized and  eliminated if your marriage is  to be successful. Self and selfishness is a big hindrance to become one. You  must aban-don self and give your  undivided attention to your mate. Marriage is costly. It  will cost you your time, energy, freedom, and much hard work  if you make it a lasting and fulfilling marriage. (2) By Meeting Each Others Needs You Encourage One-ness.  Your father  and mother  have been meeting your  needs for  a large  part of your  life. Friends and  acquaintances have  also  met your needs. These important people  have  provided you  with  love, support, security, and emotional well being over the years. Now your mate  must provide  all these things. Failure to do so  re-sults in  division rather then unity. In his book,  His Needs, Her Needs,  author and clinical psychologist, Willard Harley, sums up the needs of both  husband and  wife in an  interesting  and unique  way.  According  to  Mr. Harley  the husband  needs sexual  fulfillment,  a  recreational  companionship,  an attractive  spouse, domestic support, and  admiration. The  wife's needs  are  affection,  conversation,  honesty and  openness,  financial support, and family commitment. While these do not hold true for everyone, they do provide interesting guidelines for those who are faithful-ly committed to becoming one.  Meeting your mates needs  must be a  top priority. You cannot permit these  very important needs to  go unmet or uncared for if  you expect  your  marriage  to survive  and  become one  as  God  intended.  Give  this important  task your  greatest  effort.  Remember, if  you would Become One you must  be committed  to  Developing Oneness.

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