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Marital Moments

We have just completed a series of thoughts on Listening In Communication. Today let's  begin thinking  about Speaking  In Communication.  James 1:19 addresses  this  important  issue.  There  the Bible says,  "Let every  man  be swift to hear,  slow  to speak,  and  slow to wrath".   While this verse  declares that  one  should  be slow to speak,  he must,  however,  be  willing  to speak and  to  share  the  thoughts  of  his heart  with his spouse.   He must  be  "slow to wrath."  That is, he must not become angry  at the  things that  are being said.  The word  "wrath"  in the  Greek  language does  not mean a sudden outburst of temper, but a deep resentment that seethes and smolders often unnoticed by others.  In the text of  James 1:19 the thought is,  that if we would have good heavenly  communication then we  must listen more,  talk less,  and  never  become angry at  the things God  is  relating  to us  in His word.   If  we would  have good  earthly  communication  then we  must do the same:  listen more, speak  less,  and  never  become angry  at the  things that are spoken.  James 3:1-12 provides the  married couple  with some vitally  important information  about the use of one's tongue.   It  is  from  this  passage  that  we  will  discover  our  thoughts for this  Marital Moment.   In these verses  we find that "Speaking  Is Vitally Important To The  Marriage Relationship".  (1) Speaking is used to  exchange information.  In James 3:1 we find the word "masters".  This means teacher. Just as the teacher  uses her voice to exchange information with  her students, so the married couple must use their  voice  to exchange  information with each other.  The "teacher" provides infor-mation about her subject to her students.  The husband / wife must provide informa-tion to their mate about their life,  day,  career, and heart.  They must give important truths about their hurts, difficulties, feelings, and their emotions.  Without this honest exchange of information the relationship soon grows cold and callous.   (2) Speaking is used to complete the relationship.  In verse two we find the word  "perfect" which means  to  be  complete.   Being  able to  communicate  completes  the  relationship. There are  no hidden  areas.   There are  no troubled  thoughts about  what the other one is doing.  No unanswered  questions that linger in the heart.   When the husband and  wife are both  free with their communication, then the marriage is completed by the wonderful ability to honestly and openly communicate. (3) Speaking enables one to solve problems in the relationship.   In James 3:3 we find the thought about the bit in the  horse's mouth.  The bit  in  the mouth of the horse enables  the rider to  solve the problem  of controlling  the horse.  I am not suggesting putting a bit in  your wife or  husband's  mouth  to control him or her, but  the idea I  want to get across is just as the bit solves  the  problem  of  controlling  the  horse,  so communication  solves  the  problems  that  confront  the  marriage.  Without meaningful communication the marriage is out of control.  Problems remain unsolved.  Emotions remain unchecked. Hurt's  remain  unhealed.  (4) Speaking  is important in order  to secure the  relation-ship.   In verse four we find the word  "helm".   The helm of the ship steers the ship  away from the rocks, shallows,  storms  and  other obstacles that would destroy  the vessel.  Likewise, communication  steers the  marriage away  from the many trouble spots that would scar and mar  the beautiful  relationship.  Unfortunately,  this world is a  dangerous place for the ship of marriage.  There are many dangerous  ports that neither  the husband  nor  the  wife should  visit.   There are many  storms that arise on the  sea of  life  that  would  toss about  the  marriage and  destroy  it.  There  are many other  vessels that  would  lure one  away from the  desired haven.   However, communication is the  vitally  important  ingredient  that  secures the relationship and allows it to sail safely through,  around, and beyond  the many dangers that confront the  marital   relationship.   Just  remember that, "Speaking  is Vitally Important  To The  Marriage  Relationship".

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