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Marital Moments

Today's Marital  Moment will focus on  this important thought: "The Listener Must Give Freedom  To The  Speaker".  One simply cannot  experience freedom  where there  is  an  hostile  environment.  That  type  of climate  is  deadly to  meaningful communication.  The husband or wife that harbors ill will in their heart, exhibits an attitude  of  anger, or  explodes  into screaming  and  arguing will  never  allow  the freedom  necessary  for  thoughtful communication.  Therefore,  the listener  must allow,  and give,  the speaker  the freedom  to express verbally their thoughts, con- cerns, and hopes. It is in this freedom that communication is  given the opportunity to flourish and  grow.  Without freedom,  communication seldom  gets beneath the surface and into  the life changing and situation correcting  level.  The listener must make  a  determined  effort to control his thoughts while listening.   He must refuse to  become angry  at  the  things  that  are  said.   He  must  never  allow  his  body language  to convey  that  he is bored,  disgusted,  or disappointed at the things that are  being communicated.  Simply stated,  the listener must  listen and respond in a totally acceptable manner  so that  freedom to  speak,  or refrain from speaking,  is provided to the speaker.  Only in this environment can the speaker plum the depths of  his or her  heart.  Freedom  is more easily  achieved  when  the  couple  follows some simple rules:  (1) You should chose carefully the place of communication.  It needs to be a location free from interruptions and the restraints of  time.  Meaning-ful  communication  cannot  be  rushed  at  a  hurried pace  and  it  cannot  tolerate constant  interference.  (2) You should  always stay on  the same  topic.  Deal with only  one  problem  at  a  time.  Other subjects  can  be discussed  at  a  later  date.(3) You  must refuse  to  bring  up  the past.  If  you  have already  dealt with yes- terday  than let it remain  in the  past.  However,  if the past is unresolved then you must at some time deal with the previous things of  your life.  (4) The listener must provide  an atmosphere  of  love  and  acceptance.  The Bible states in  I John 4:18 that,  "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:  because fear hath torment."  (5)  The listener  must  respond  in a  respectful  manner.  Kindness and consideration goes a  long way toward helping  the speaker feel  free enough to ex-press their  view of  the situation.  Freedom is a precious and priceless commodity. Therefore,  just  as  you want  freedom  for  yourself,  freely  provide  it  for  your spouse.   Remember,  "The Listener Must Give Freedom to The Speaker".

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